the real true love theory
Dec. 30th, 2020 12:09 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
leeseokmini feel like dia earthshaker has become synonymous with marriage shipping--and that's incredible--but i find it funny because marriage shipping isn't actually my core. you might be shaking in your boots right now, but the real dia earthshaker is about divorce shipping. divorce shipping will be explained under the read more because you don't need my free insanity i think.
to explain the real true love theory, i think we need to unpack a little bit of who i am as a person. while i don't keep an obssessive spreadsheet of everyone i've ever dated/fucked, i am proudly the ex who is still friends with their ex. with the exception of two exes (one was downright.... i'm not going to talk about him and the other just cut all contact with me) i still have pretty functional relationships with most of my exes. this is mostly in part to my right person, wrong time mentality. i don't usually discount a relationship just because it has ended, seeing as there are always a variety of external factors creating the time-space that the relationship occupies, which means there is possibly another time-space where the relationship can occur again. i also just love too many people i think: i'd be happy jumping into a relationship with any of my close friends; in fact my currentgirlfriend is one of my closest friends in the world...
which leads to divorce shipping. i think real true love is the idea that people grow, drift apart and come back together at their fullest points, truth be told, especially in a childhood friends to lovers narrative. what matters is not that you can see yourself married in the new future but rather, even if you were divorced, you'd still be devoted to each other. even if you've been together for 10 years, break up for 2 years, as long as there's a possibility where you could be like i can see myself with this person in a different point in the future, but just not right now, that's divorce shipping. to meeeeee!!!!!
the real dia earthshaker is about working out the rough patches together or apart, or simply acknowledging that sometimes, people need time and space to grow, no matter how much you love them. i'm going to pick one relationship off my big chart to elaborate on, with seokhao for devoted marriage, ushisaku for married rivalry, dannymax for devoted rivalry and iwaoi for devoted married rivalry.
seokhao - devoted marriage
you might be wondering where is the divorce point for seokhao but i headcanon them not as having a rough marriage, but a rough getting together period. light blue and gentle by figure8 goes into it a little, they get together and breakup and get together and breakup because, at the core of it, their love languages and expectations are so misaligned it takes a while for them to actually fit together. but in the process, they build a really beautiful relationship by moving closer and closer to the point where they fully understand each other and therefore: marriage!
ushisaku - married rivalry
you might be thinking "dia ushisaku have two chapters of canon interaction" AND IM GOING TO MILK THE FUCK OUT OF IT!!! i love the idea that ushijima was sakusa's first crush/love and i think they also take a long time to get together, but more because of the narrative that to sakusa, ushijima is the ultimate rival. until he can receive one of ushijima's serves, they're not on equal ground or footing so this "divorce" isn't 100% tangible in the sense that it's something two people have to overcome but it does get in the way of sakusa's "fuller person" idea. i think he always holds a torch for ushijima, but their rivalry is important to their relationship and unless sakusa can see them as equals in every way, they can't move beyond this somewhat one-sided rivalry. ig in this case the divorce is mental in a "this is where he stands/this is where i stand".
danmax - devoted rivalry
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. the truth is i will always be devoted rivalry>>>>>>>any other relationship paradigm i like. the REAL divorce shipping is in devoted rivalry, the idea that ending up together is inevitable and yet still fraught with tension from the past/present. to sum up (very briefly) danmax's relationship: they were teammates in RBR and quite possibly a dream team except max is young, extremely talented and reckless so he knocks danny out of a few races in accidents and danny fucks up big time and upper management shifts their focus into max, souring danmax's on track relationship, but they're still very much GOOD FRIENDS off track. even today, despite danny moving to a new team, max still flies danny around in his private jet (which i don't think he's done for anyone else. *this is where dia dies*). my headcanon is that danny still sees max as a rival, but being in different teams has eased up the external tension on their relationship and allowed them to breathe and fall in love with each other again. to ME. thanks.
iwaoi - married devoted rivalry
this one is pretty simple. i think the years where iwaizumi is california they just take a break from their relationship in a very practical we've been together our whole lives but there's an entire world out there and i'd never forgive myself if you resented me from holding you back so we'll just take a break and experience the world. and if we still love each other then we can get married the way we did with the fake wedding in the garden we had at 7 years old.
okay the truth is i don't know if this helped anyone understand my vision at all. but i understand my vision. thanks!
to explain the real true love theory, i think we need to unpack a little bit of who i am as a person. while i don't keep an obssessive spreadsheet of everyone i've ever dated/fucked, i am proudly the ex who is still friends with their ex. with the exception of two exes (one was downright.... i'm not going to talk about him and the other just cut all contact with me) i still have pretty functional relationships with most of my exes. this is mostly in part to my right person, wrong time mentality. i don't usually discount a relationship just because it has ended, seeing as there are always a variety of external factors creating the time-space that the relationship occupies, which means there is possibly another time-space where the relationship can occur again. i also just love too many people i think: i'd be happy jumping into a relationship with any of my close friends; in fact my currentgirlfriend is one of my closest friends in the world...
which leads to divorce shipping. i think real true love is the idea that people grow, drift apart and come back together at their fullest points, truth be told, especially in a childhood friends to lovers narrative. what matters is not that you can see yourself married in the new future but rather, even if you were divorced, you'd still be devoted to each other. even if you've been together for 10 years, break up for 2 years, as long as there's a possibility where you could be like i can see myself with this person in a different point in the future, but just not right now, that's divorce shipping. to meeeeee!!!!!
the real dia earthshaker is about working out the rough patches together or apart, or simply acknowledging that sometimes, people need time and space to grow, no matter how much you love them. i'm going to pick one relationship off my big chart to elaborate on, with seokhao for devoted marriage, ushisaku for married rivalry, dannymax for devoted rivalry and iwaoi for devoted married rivalry.
seokhao - devoted marriage
you might be wondering where is the divorce point for seokhao but i headcanon them not as having a rough marriage, but a rough getting together period. light blue and gentle by figure8 goes into it a little, they get together and breakup and get together and breakup because, at the core of it, their love languages and expectations are so misaligned it takes a while for them to actually fit together. but in the process, they build a really beautiful relationship by moving closer and closer to the point where they fully understand each other and therefore: marriage!
ushisaku - married rivalry
you might be thinking "dia ushisaku have two chapters of canon interaction" AND IM GOING TO MILK THE FUCK OUT OF IT!!! i love the idea that ushijima was sakusa's first crush/love and i think they also take a long time to get together, but more because of the narrative that to sakusa, ushijima is the ultimate rival. until he can receive one of ushijima's serves, they're not on equal ground or footing so this "divorce" isn't 100% tangible in the sense that it's something two people have to overcome but it does get in the way of sakusa's "fuller person" idea. i think he always holds a torch for ushijima, but their rivalry is important to their relationship and unless sakusa can see them as equals in every way, they can't move beyond this somewhat one-sided rivalry. ig in this case the divorce is mental in a "this is where he stands/this is where i stand".
danmax - devoted rivalry
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. the truth is i will always be devoted rivalry>>>>>>>any other relationship paradigm i like. the REAL divorce shipping is in devoted rivalry, the idea that ending up together is inevitable and yet still fraught with tension from the past/present. to sum up (very briefly) danmax's relationship: they were teammates in RBR and quite possibly a dream team except max is young, extremely talented and reckless so he knocks danny out of a few races in accidents and danny fucks up big time and upper management shifts their focus into max, souring danmax's on track relationship, but they're still very much GOOD FRIENDS off track. even today, despite danny moving to a new team, max still flies danny around in his private jet (which i don't think he's done for anyone else. *this is where dia dies*). my headcanon is that danny still sees max as a rival, but being in different teams has eased up the external tension on their relationship and allowed them to breathe and fall in love with each other again. to ME. thanks.
iwaoi - married devoted rivalry
this one is pretty simple. i think the years where iwaizumi is california they just take a break from their relationship in a very practical we've been together our whole lives but there's an entire world out there and i'd never forgive myself if you resented me from holding you back so we'll just take a break and experience the world. and if we still love each other then we can get married the way we did with the fake wedding in the garden we had at 7 years old.
okay the truth is i don't know if this helped anyone understand my vision at all. but i understand my vision. thanks!
no subject
Date: 2020-12-29 05:11 pm (UTC)Also it is very You.
Devoted rivalry is like.... wee woo wee woo! Add possessiveness in there and you get “only Eye can be this person’s greatest rival” and That makes ME go nuts !!!
no subject
Date: 2021-01-06 07:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-01-06 08:43 am (UTC)The greatest rival is the force we take on together...... I feel like you just reassembled me
no subject
Date: 2020-12-29 05:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-01-06 07:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-10-17 02:01 pm (UTC)